Finding the one

Women in my age range tend to be laser focused on one thing and one thing only: finding “the one.” I’m not sure if fantasizing over Netflix series or binge watching wedding videos is the reason we do it. The famous line “when the timing is right, it will happen” probably haunts some of you, right? It sure frightened me. But through the years, I have found that there is so much more than that one sentence.

Funny thing is—I think Tanner and I’s timing was anything but right. I was strayed far away from Jesus, Tanner wasn’t ready to date, we went to opposing high schools, I had recently gotten out of a relationship, we both had an enormous amount of maturing to do, but guess what? We still crossed paths.

Yes, maybe it wasn’t the most right or perfect timing. But God doesn’t run on perfect nor does He run on timing, He runs on faith. Having faith in Him led Tanner and I to full-heartedly pursue each other since day one. Day one! Can you believe it?

So for the one who feels discouraged or lost in trying to find the one, I want to encourage you.

Try not to obsess over it. I know you hear this far too often but it holds truth. You can’t forever fixate on something that doesn’t yet exist. Fix your focus on the one thing that is forever and the rest will come.

It’s okay to have expectations. No, it’s actually quite necessary. I see too much of women settling because they’ve found someone. Don’t settle when you’ve found someone, settle when you’ve found the one. Some of my expectations for Tanner included that he: is a lover and follower of Jesus, has a sense of humor, gets my humor, makes me feel safe, and fits in like jelly with my family. Don’t be afraid to hold high expectations for yourself or your man. 

Get to know your strengths and weaknesses and learn to accept them before looking for that acceptance in a relationship. This was a true learning curve for me. I didn’t realize how many strengths and weaknesses I had yet to approach and accept until they came out when I entered into a relationship. Learn to love your strengths and your weaknesses and focus on using them to further God’s kingdom rather than furthering your search for a man. 

God’s job is not his job. God is God for a reason- He makes the impossible possible. Our boyfriend or husband’s job isn’t close to paralleling that. Their job is to love, serve, and learn alongside us. Ask yourself who has a seat on your throne then do an expectation check- do you have husband expectations for them or God expectations?

Enjoy your singleness! I can’t bolden or star this enough. Find humility, grace and intention in the season God’s put you in. You’re in it for a purpose. 

Above all else, God is the one and only director of our love lives. Continue to have faith in Him, hold onto Him, and love Him with every ounce of being because no love is as perfect as His love.

 

you’re a good, good father

that’s who you are, that’s who you are

and I’m loved by you -Housefires

Love always,

KMP

 

 

 

Advertisements

Step out

Entering into my twenties has brought me a rush of feelings; fluctuating from hesitance to eagerness.

I am not certain what my future holds, but boy I am confident who holds it.

And let me tell you- when I came to terms and trusted that it wasn’t in my hands but God’s, tremendous peace poured over me.

No matter your age or the place you call home; we are all called into a vast pool of seasons. These seasons may look utterly different from one another, yet God doesn’t look at them that way. He creates every season with purpose.

The season you’re in may appear different, but it is not lesser or more than those beside you.

Man, I have to remind myself that every single day. God won’t abandon you and provide for someone next to you. He isn’t a stagnant God. He is an active, rejuvenating God who will not leave you somewhere He has placed you.

Isaiah 41:10

That is the truth of stepping out with a gospel pronounced purpose and pace. We have to step out of what we know to step into what we don’t know. The unknown is fragile but our God is secure- I believe with every bone in me that God’s will is the best will.

But to serve and expand God’s will, you have to first expand yours. We have to start changing our perspective before we begin attacking our purpose. We have to be flexible to what God is doing right now to be able to fully arrive at what He will do tomorrow. But here’s where it becomes tricky-we need to fix our focus on who holds tomorrow without being consumed in what tomorrow holds. Once you trust who is in control of your future, you won’t fear it because your eyes will be so fixed on what’s now.

Your season is now. God puts us in the season, but it is up to us where we’re going to take it and what we’re going to do with it.

I don’t think there is such thing as a dry season without a dry relationship- there may be seasons that are more difficult to find water, but that doesn’t mean the water isn’t there. You may just have to search a little harder.

We need to use our strengths AND our weaknesses to fulfill the season God has beautifully laid out for us. Notice how I said “and”- there is strength in our weakness and weakness in our strength. We have to be willing to use both to step in, whole-heartedly, to what God has for our future.

 

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me. – Erma Bombeck

With so much love,

kmp

Dating, marriage, and all of the above

Being a Christian in a three year long dating relationship, I think you can assume what question gets asked quite often.

So when’s the wedding?

Tanner and I have a funny story, and when I think about it, I just picture God laughing from above at what He was doing with us. There are plenty of times that we could have broken up, or we could have not ended up together, but I am a believer in God making ways. He makes ways for what is right in His plan.

Oh and the wedding is not soon, I promise Mom!

But being surrounded by hundreds of young souls who are hungry to be loved and to find the one, and to live a happily ever after, I knew I wanted to write more on this.

We walk in a world where everything has been made straight-lined for us and if we begin to slightly curve right, we’re immediately titled as risky or irresponsible or just different.

It’s almost like if we marry too old or too young, or if marriage is never in the books we’re not doing marriage the right way. If we’re not dating in college, if we’re dating around, or if we’re dating the same person, we’re not doing dating right.

Weddings are one of my guilty pleasures. I can sit for hours with my best friend; fantasizing, daydreaming, and admiring the most dazzling wedding videos. I mean, who can’t use a good tear jerker here and there? But when our dreams and hopes turn into doubts and dishonors, we began to lose understanding. God didn’t promise marriage. We haven’t signed an agreement with Him. He didn’t promise a one way or the highway relationship. If dating and marriage is in His plan, He won’t always promise timing. God doesn’t have a rule book of when’s. His plans arrive just like whirlwinds: unexpected and always changing.

Too often I set expectations, dates, demands, and plans that have all to do with the desires of the world and myself. I expect things to go one way and wow do they boomerang a whole other way.

But the funny part? That way was always the right way. From the beginning, He knew what He was doing. And we got to glorify while He paved the way. I’ve always been a solid believer in the Lord opening doors. He opened the door for Tanner and I to start dating, and has blessed that ever since. I trust that He has plenty more doors to unlock. But it’s not only a matter of trust.

Man, do we forget that trust needs authenticity. It needs realness. I am crazy guilty of saying out loud I trust God will provide, but my fear of future plans don’t. We can say we trust that God will lead us and we will follow. We can say we trust that His plan is the right one, and that His doors lead to satisfaction. But can we truly believe this, even if His plans aren’t what we had planned?

There is no one way or right way to doing singleness, dating, or marriage except to authentically trust. Trust in the Lord to pave your paths and make ways for what is supposed to be.

Pray with humility, and show him your weakest desires and barest soul. He knows you desire a husband. He knows you aren’t happy in the relationship you’re in. He knows your season of singleness feels dry. He knows you.

Be real with Him. He loves and longs for you more than any man ever can.

 

his love is an every moment everyday, always -Housefires/This Love-

-KP

 

If you’re not chasing your dreams, you should read this

Chasing your dreams? You’re probably thinking Katie—are you five years old?

Maybe I’m crazy, but college has made my once-called dreams into my soon-to-be future. And when I hear someone is studying something they have absolutely no interest in, I can’t help but tell them what I’m about to tell you. I am not a journalism major because I’ll be making good money (clearly), or because I am simply talented at it. I am a journalism major because I fall deeply in love with the words on a paper and feel a whole lot of passion every time I talk about it. I am a journalism major because I have a future awaiting that will allow me to transform my dreams into my everyday life.

Attending a school that is solely known for it’s phenomenal engineering program, I think you can assume my major isn’t of those in the spotlight. I can’t count on two hands how many times I have heard the negative responses and feedback people have received from simply saying they are of the handful of liberal art majors. I have even experienced it first handedly with my own relatives!

What in the world are you going to do with a journalism degree?

My response to that? I am going to chase my dreams until they are no longer dreams. I am going to work for what gives me passion even if it means being tight with money. I am not going to study for four years of my life that will only look good on a resume or sound prestigious to others; I am going to do something that I can look back on with eyes reflecting pure passion and hope.

Don’t let your dreams become the opinions of those around you. Those are not your dreams, they are theirs. Dreams are what you hope to achieve. And when you stop chasing dreams of others and start chasing dreams of your own, they won’t just be dreams.

They’ll be your future.

Make room for God

I just finished a short read from the book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Tim Keller, and let me begin by saying—I am not a reader. I always try to be, but always end up getting to the second chapter and burying it in my pile of unfinished books. But this book wasn’t just another story for me.

It was a reality.

It made me realize a lot about life. Life is beautiful, it’s messy, it’s way too complicated, or sometimes too simple, but you learn a heck of lot from it. I’m going to jump right in by saying how crazy it is that I’ve been discovering how almost all of my anxious thoughts, deepest fears, and hidden worries are not coming from anyone or anything around me. They’re coming from one (or you could say two) things: me and my ego. I put unneeded pressure on myself to become someone I’m not, to worry about something I have no control over, and to obsess over situations that have simply already happened. If your’e anything like me, I say you grab a coffee and read on.

So why do we do this? Why do we set such high expectations for ourselves that we almost never can reach? If I took one thing out of Tim Keller’s book, it would be this one word.

Pride.

We clearly think of ourselves as capable and mighty if we believe we can handle the amount of weight we put upon us. And don’t get me wrong—you are capable of many things! But not everything. Unless you’re wearing a cape and you can fly, then go you girl. If you trace back to the beginning of any problem, odds are you had a lot to do with how it all came to be. If you think about it, our thoughts and actions are almost always pertaining to ourselves. Whether it is comparing myself to squares on my feed or believing I can be the next Sigmund Freud, I am doing it not for the sake of others, but for the sake of bettering myself. And guess what? The bigger our ego, the smaller room we have for God.

The truth behind these things is that we will never be the person on our Insta feed or the hero of all problems. But we will always be purposeful. We are purposeful because of the Lord—and that alone means so much more than wearing a cape or taking artsy pictures. Jesus already told us it is finished when He laid down his life at the foot of the cross. He says He created our inmost being and knitted us together in our mother’s womb. He has set aside a purpose-filled plan for each and every one of His followers. His intentions were never to create a doubtful and distrustful child. His intentions were to create a fearful and wonderful human being.

When all is wrong and everything feels like its crumbling like a dry cookie, I challenge you to look more at what you and God are capable of doing, rather than what you alone are able to do. We were made to do life together, not apart. The less focus we put on ourselves, the more room we’ll leave for God. We alone are no where near perfect, but how sweet is it that He is?

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” -C.S. Lewis

With so much love,

Katie

You’re not alone, I promise

It never crossed my mind nor did I ever think I was capable enough to write about this. I thought if I were putting it down on paper, it may become too real.

But it was real. Blatantly real. I was a freshman college student, getting involved in everything under the moon, but felt as if I were floating in outer space. I was drifting, or you could say separating, from the things I loved most. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like I had lost the Katie inside of me.

It was a game of tug of war with my joy at one end and stress at the other, and it weighed down on me like the world. From taking numerous psychology courses, I knew what stress was about. I knew the side effects, yet as a college student, I’m supposed to be stressed, right? But I was never told that it can make you feel as if your life is walking right past you and all you can do is watch.

I was in quick sand, trying not to sink.

And at the time, I needed someone to tell me what I’m about to tell you.

You are not alone. Really, you’re not alone. I repeated that twice because it is the truth yet it gets shoveled out of everything. After talking to other women, I realized how common and unspoken this feeling of stress is. Going off of that—you need to talk. Talk to God, talk to your friends, your mom, or whoever. Talking about how you feel brings you one step closer to understanding why you feel that way.

Try picking yourself up. I know this is what I needed to hear at the time, but I’m not exactly sure it was what I wanted to hear. I needed to pick myself up and rediscover the Katie I always knew of. The search for that felt foggy and claustrophobic. I was lost in a pile of messiness that weighed on my heart. I remember the cheesy phrase that floated in the back of my head when something else went wrong: When it rains, it pours. Yeah, no. When it rains, guess what? There’s a huge, stinkin’ rainbow at the end. I started by addressing what was making me stressed. I began doing the little things again that make me, me, such as writing, coffee dates, long car rides, random dance parties, and deep talks. I immediately found myself, and my thoughts, less life draining and more life fulfilling.

Stress is a germ that latches on to us at our weakest. It takes hold of your happiness and throws you in the dumps. Whether you’re a college student, or not, I want you to know your stress is not a fad or lifestyle. If it costs you your joy, it’s time you let go and let God.

With so much love,

Kp