Women in my age range tend to be laser focused on one thing and one thing only: finding “the one.” I’m not sure if fantasizing over Netflix series or binge watching wedding videos is the reason we do it. The famous line “when the timing is right, it will happen” probably haunts some of you, right? It sure frightened me. But through the years, I have found that there is so much more than that one sentence.
Funny thing is—I think Tanner and I’s timing was anything but right. I was strayed far away from Jesus, Tanner wasn’t ready to date, we went to opposing high schools, I had recently gotten out of a relationship, we both had an enormous amount of maturing to do, but guess what? We still crossed paths.
Yes, maybe it wasn’t the most right or perfect timing. But God doesn’t run on perfect nor does He run on timing, He runs on faith. Having faith in Him led Tanner and I to full-heartedly pursue each other since day one. Day one! Can you believe it?
So for the one who feels discouraged or lost in trying to find the one, I want to encourage you.
Try not to obsess over it. I know you hear this far too often but it holds truth. You can’t forever fixate on something that doesn’t yet exist. Fix your focus on the one thing that is forever and the rest will come.
It’s okay to have expectations. No, it’s actually quite necessary. I see too much of women settling because they’ve found someone. Don’t settle when you’ve found someone, settle when you’ve found the one. Some of my expectations for Tanner included that he: is a lover and follower of Jesus, has a sense of humor, gets my humor, makes me feel safe, and fits in like jelly with my family. Don’t be afraid to hold high expectations for yourself or your man.
Get to know your strengths and weaknesses and learn to accept them before looking for that acceptance in a relationship. This was a true learning curve for me. I didn’t realize how many strengths and weaknesses I had yet to approach and accept until they came out when I entered into a relationship. Learn to love your strengths and your weaknesses and focus on using them to further God’s kingdom rather than furthering your search for a man.
God’s job is not his job. God is God for a reason- He makes the impossible possible. Our boyfriend or husband’s job isn’t close to paralleling that. Their job is to love, serve, and learn alongside us. Ask yourself who has a seat on your throne then do an expectation check- do you have husband expectations for them or God expectations?
Enjoy your singleness! I can’t bolden or star this enough. Find humility, grace and intention in the season God’s put you in. You’re in it for a purpose.
Above all else, God is the one and only director of our love lives. Continue to have faith in Him, hold onto Him, and love Him with every ounce of being because no love is as perfect as His love.
you’re a good, good father
that’s who you are, that’s who you are
and I’m loved by you -Housefires